HOW TO MAKE PROFIT

* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue # 536, Week of December 15-16, 2008
Publisher:  David Riklan - http://www.SelfGrowth.com

In this issue:

-- Quotes of the Week
-- Recommended Product of the Week
-- Article:  Your Willingness to Receive is the Gift - By Colin Tipping
-- Article:  Sarah and "The Stupid Box" - By Larry Hochman
-- Book Review:  Feel the Fear...and Do It Anyway - By Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
-- Brief News of the World
-- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter

Current Subscribers - 273,107 subscribers
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*** Quotes of the Week ***
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It is awfully important to know what is and what is not your business. - Gertrude Stein, 1874-1946, American Writer

If any man seeks for greatness, let him forget greatness and ask for truth, and he will find both. - Horace Mann, 1796-1859, American Educator

What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. - Napoleon Hill, 1883-1970, American Speaker/Motivational Writer/Author of "Think and Grow Rich"

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*** Recommended Product of the Week ***

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*** Article:  Your Willingness to Receive is the Gift - By Colin Tipping ***

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At this time of year, the focus is 100% on giving. Yes, it's a wonderful feeling to give from your heart, but how about receiving? Can you do that with an open heart as well?

The fact is many people find receiving much more difficult, but giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. If you wish to give me something purely for the joy of giving, and I am not open to receiving it fully, I am blocking your joy. I am therefore being extremely selfish. I need to receive what you want to give me in order to maximize your pleasure. Therefore, my acceptance is my gift back to you.

So why not this holiday gift-giving season resolve to be totally conscious about how you receive? Be aware of your discomfort when it arises. Log your thoughts about the gift and how it was given. Watch how you compare your gift with what others got from the same person. Notice whether you attach a meaning to the gift. Was your heart open to receive the gift purely as a gift, or were you calculating whether your gift back to them was equal in value? Did the gift make you feel obligated to reciprocate? Were you embarrassed by the gift? If so, why?

You may discover a lot about yourself by doing this, and let's be honest, some of it might not be pretty. But it will be an opportunity to do a self-forgiveness worksheet and a self-acceptance worksheet in order to love that part of your shadow being revealed.

You might also need to do a worksheet on the giver if you felt slighted, obligated, misunderstood, or even insulted by the gift given. Or perhaps they didn't get you a gift and you gave to them. Or even worse, they gave you an expensive gift and you gave them nothing. Was that a power play, perhaps? Or maybe they gave you something awful that you will feel obligated to keep and perhaps wear or use.

Remember, family get-togethers are ideal opportunities to heal and grow. Well, giving and receiving gifts is just another way of relating, not just as brother and sister, or mother and son, but as giver and receiver. There's plenty of opportunity for button-pushing right there.

Company gifts to their employees can create even worse discomfort and press deeply held shadow material about worthiness, self-esteem, value, and need for approval. Employees are very sensitive to differential giving within the company, and they do tend to keep score.

If we are to overcome our resistance to receiving in order to keep things in balance, it helps to remind ourselves of the criteria of what constitutes a true gift:

1. The giver sincerely wishes to give the gift for the sake of it -- not out of a sense of obligation.

2. The giver genuinely feels that the gift will have value or meaning to the recipient and that he or she would be pleased to receive it.

3. There are no strings attached, and the recipient is free to do with the gift whatever he or she wishes.

4. There is no expectation of reciprocity.

If any one of these criteria is not met, then it is not a true gift. The only requirement in gift-giving is that the gift is received. Period.

If reciprocity is definitely required, as some cultures demand, then it becomes more a ritual of exchange rather than gift-giving. Unfortunately, this is what Christmas has become and accounts for the madness in malls in the run-up to December 25th. People expect gifts, and everyone feels obligated to give. It's not a good experience for anyone when this is the case.

If you want to get some spiritual growth and fun out of the holiday season family ritual, keeping in mind those four criteria, I dare you to try this:

Except your own young children up to the age of 15 say, buy no one a present this year, but be totally open to receiving a gift from everyone who wants to buy you one. Have no shame. Then, after you have shown a great deal of gratitude and pleasure at receiving the gift, thereby completing the exchange of pleasurable feelings associated with giving and receiving, say the following:

"Instead of buying a whole load of things you probably don't need, I have made a contribution equal to the amount I would ordinarily have spent on buying presents for each one of you to the following charity: __________ .

"I also intend to take all the beautiful and wonderful gifts you have so kindly given me and spend some time finding some people who would like them as much or even more than I do. In other words, I would like to pass them on. It will give me so much pleasure to do that, and that will be your real gift to me."

Everyone will drop their jaws, but once people understand where you are coming from on this, it could make for a most interesting conversation after dinner that will probably last well into the evening. And I bet, in the end, that you will earn a great deal of respect from those who would love to have the courage to do the same.

The following year, go back to giving everyone a present and see how they receive it. A whole different discussion will ensue.

Happy holidays.

Colin

About the Author:

Colin Tipping is the creator of what has come to be recognized as the most powerful leading-edge technology for personal and spiritual growth today -- Radical Forgiveness. He is the acknowledged authority on the application of this technology to the "healing" of individuals, families, races, corporations, and communities. He is also the author of five popular, ground-breaking books.

During his career as a teacher and motivator, Colin Tipping has, together with his wife JoAnn, founded the Institute for Radical Forgiveness, Quantum Energy Management Consultants, LLC, The Georgia CancerHelp Program, and Together-We-Heal, Inc., a 501-c-3, non-profit corporation. An inspiring conference keynoter and retreat leader, Colin's workshops -- delivered in several countries on three continents -- are praised as life-changing experiences.

Learn more about Colin and his Radical Forgiveness strategies at http://www.radicalforgiveness.com

Check out the Experts page for Colin Tipping, the Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to Forgiveness.

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*** Article:  Sarah and "The Stupid Box" - By Larry Hochman ***

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So there's Sarah, my "Little Girl," now 12, hopping around like a lunatic. She's inside a large cardboard box that, three hours ago, had a new vacuum cleaner in it.

I suppose it's like moths to the light for kids, even those on the verge of being teenagers. The lure of hopping around in a big box is just too great to pass up.

Yeah, my girl still has the enthusiasm of a little kid. And the judgment of one too.

There she is, joyfully hopping around in the box as if she's participating in a potato sack race at a summer picnic. Of course, most potato sack races take place in open fields. Sarah decided to have hers in the hallway approaching the two steps down to our sunken living room. She knew full well the steps were there and decided to negotiate them.

And of course, the laws of physics work just as well in Connecticut as anywhere else. She missed the first step, sprawled forward, and made contact: forehead to piano bench.

If you're a parent, you know that moment when you see your child have a household accident. First, after the momentary panic, you assess if they're really hurt and how badly. You look for the reaction and for the cry. Is it a cry of pain? Is it a cry of embarrassment? Is it a "I know I'll be in trouble if I don't whip up some tears quickly" cry? Do they not cry at all?

I quickly figured out Sarah was more embarrassed than hurt. She looked at me, partially to see how I'd react and partially to see how she should react. I went with the old tried and true, "Bounce up, you're OK." I figured I could always backtrack to an icepack or 911 call if I needed to.

Once we both determined she was OK, she decided to try for a face-saving move. "Stupid box," she blurted out.

A smile of amusement came over my face. "Honey, I don't need to say it, do I?"

Silence. She knew.

A fun story with a kid who learned a cheap lesson about empty boxes and sunken living rooms.

Now, let's talk about you.

You're not a kid, yet you're probably doing things that are as silly and obvious as my girl and her box. Don't be ashamed. We're all human.

The missed opportunities don't come from making the silly mistakes. They come from BLAMING THE CIRCUMSTANCES. The box isn't stupid. It's just a box.

And the circumstances of your life aren't stupid. None of them have the power to make choices for you, even ones in which you seem to be stuck.

Some of the things we do to ourselves are just so obvious to the outside world. We have the benefit of looking at you from the outside in. It's easier for us to see. Some are a bit more subtle. But that's a matter of degree.

In ways big and small, we all put ourselves in that box. And we sometimes skate close to a danger zone. We sometimes do a poor job at managing our risk, like the lovely Sarah.

Like I said, it's cool. Make your mistakes. It's part of the human condition.

Then keep growing your skills of observation and accepting personal responsibility. Did you screw up? Bounce up after falling down, laugh at your silliness, and decide to do something different.

Energy wasted on blaming the circumstances is energy you could be using on making things better. No exceptions.

I'm going to go put a big empty cardboard box in the garage, out of harm's way. Meanwhile, have fun being your gloriously imperfect self.

About the Author:

Larry Hochman is the founder of NO MORE HOLDING BACK. He helps individuals and groups break through self-imposed limitation and achieve success in business, careers, relationships, and happiness. He is a long-time educator, counselor, author, and entertainer. Join the free NO MORE HOLDING BACK support and networking community at http://NoMoreHoldingBack.ning.com

Check out the Experts page for Larry Hochman.

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*** Book Review:  Feel the Fear...and Do It Anyway - By Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. ***
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Are you afraid of making decisions... asking your boss for a raise... leaving an unfulfilling relationship... facing the future? Whatever your fear, here is your chance to push through it once and for all. In this enduring guide to self-empowerment, Dr. Susan Jeffers inspires us with dynamic techniques and profound concepts that have helped countless people grab hold of their fears and move forward with their lives. Inside you'll discover

* What we are afraid of, and why.

* How to move from victim to creator.

* The secret of making no-lose decisions.

* The vital 10-step process that helps you outtalk the negative chatterbox in your brain.

* How to create more meaning in your life.

* And so much more!

With insight and humor, Dr. Jeffers shows you how to become powerful in the face of your fears -- and enjoy the elation of living a creative, joyous, loving life.

Check out the Experts page for Susan Jeffers.

*****

The list price of this book is $13.95. To purchase it from Amazon.com for $11.16, a 20% discount, go here.

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*** Brief News of the World ***

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Positive:

* Prince Harry seals deal for charity: Visits brokerage firm, helps close multibillion-dollar transaction *

Britain's Prince Harry closed a brokerage deal worth 10 billion pounds (US$15 billion), and in the process raised money for charities around the world. Surrounded by financial workers dressed in costumes, the 24-year-old prince spent Wednesday at the electronic brokerage firm ICAP for its annual Charity Day, when staff dress up and the day's revenues and commissions are donated to aid projects in places such as Mumbai, Sydney and Bogota. (Click here for complete news story)

* Dream-Come-True for Mariah Carey Fan, 9: California Girl Gets to Meet Superstar with Help of Macy's "Believe" Campaign, Make-A-Wish Foundation *

It's the stuff of a great Christmas story. If you've ever been to New York at Christmastime, you know that Macy's "Santa Land" is a big attraction, with thousands of children lining up to meet Santa each year. But this year, people have been visiting Macys' stores across the country for another reason: to send letters to Santa as part of the company's "Believe" campaign. For each letter received, one dollar is donated to the Make-a-Wish Foundation, an organization that helps grant wishes to children with life-threatening illnesses. (Click here for complete news story)

* 'Life Given Back' to New Mom by ABC News Colleague: 'Little Blessed Baby' Inspires Kidney Donation, Leads to Remarkable Journey *

This is a story about two friends, a kidney transplant and the complications that arose along the way. We've come to take the transplants for granted. Around 17,000 kidney transplants are performed each year. This story was close to me because I knew both the donor and the recipient. The only person I didn't know was the one who was the inspiration behind what happened. Her name was Madeleine -- Madi, for short. She was 5 months old at the time. (Click here for complete news story)

** For more positive news, please visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/news.html

Other:

* Scientists find 2,000-year-old brain in Britain *

British archaeologists have unearthed an ancient skull carrying a startling surprise -- an unusually well-preserved brain. Scientists said Friday that the mass of gray matter was more than 2,000 years old -- the oldest ever discovered in Britain. One expert unconnected with the find called it "a real freak of preservation." The skull was severed from its owner sometime before the Roman invasion of Britain and found in a muddy pit during a dig at the University of York in northern England this fall, according to Richard Hall, a director of York Archaeological Trust. (Click here for complete news story)

* Falling asleep in class? Blame biology *

Parents flick the light switch, flap the sheets and prod their groggy teenagers to get to school on time. Then, when the teenagers get to school, they slump over their desks to snooze. Sleepy teenagers may not be able to help it, researchers say. Blame it on the early school start time and their circadian rhythms: the mental and physical changes that occur in a day. Teenagers need eight to 10 hours of sleep, compared with the six to eight hours recommended for adults. Teenagers also tend to go to bed and wake later than adults. These biological tendencies clash with early morning high school schedules, leaving them sleepy in class. (Click here for complete news story)

* Make like 'Giving Tree': Give gifts of health *

Holiday shoppers searching for the perfect gift may want to take a clue from one of the best gift-givers ever. A tree. In "The Giving Tree," Shel Silverstein's 1964 children's book, a little boy befriends a tree that offers him branches to climb, shade to rest under, and apples to snack on -- all gifts of good health, and gifts from the heart. Giving presents that offer fitness, peace of mind and good nutrition sends a message of caring, says Gene Beresin, a psychiatrist at MassGeneral Hospital for Children in Boston. "Health is defined not so much in the nature of the gift, but in the process of giving," Beresin says. (Click here for complete news story)

 

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